Self Hugging How-To

The time has come. And self hugging is where it’s at, so let’s hug it out. We have always relied on receiving emotional and physical comfort from others but while we are apart from friends and loved ones, let’s practice taking gentle care of ourselves in a new way.  Today, it is more important than ever to learn how to hug ourselves so we can normalize simple ways of caring for ourselves every day.


Hugging yourself and allowing yourself to feel loved is about building up your own self-esteem. When you have positive self-esteem and self-confidence, you are not so easily swayed or taken down by the opinions or actions of others. When you believe in yourself and feel loved you have the ability to reach higher, elevating yourself and others. I also believe that in order to truly love others, we must learn how to love ourselves first.  You can not serve from an empty vessel.

I’m declaring time is up for all of our self-deprecation, self-recrimination, and negative self-talk. We are all grasping at threads trying to hold onto our sanity and being mean to ourselves will not help us feel healthy and whole. Try now to focus on things that are helpful and sustainable. This is a new space where we must rely solely on ourselves for connection and love which feels really daunting.

Helping uncomfortable feelings

Typically, when I am feeling sad, anxious or unloved I like to go for “retail therapy”.   For me, that is places such as TJ Maxx or taking time to wander around Target with a coconut milk latte in hand. During our current situation, that is not an option. We have all been thrust into a place where we can’t just get up and leave the room of our uncomfortable feelings.

One thing we can do as we sit with the uncertainty and all the emotions is to treat ourselves with kindness and love and a full hug. Not a half hug or a double pat on the back hug, but a real, full-on-hug from yourself. I will talk you through it. Let’s be honest, all of our top tier quarantine snacks are gone, so stress eating is no longer an option. We might as well learn or relearn a way to feel loved, whole and connected by giving ourselves a hug.

It’s free. It’s fun and you are going to be surprised by how great it feels.








Self hugging How-to

Sit or stand up nice and tall, bring the crown of your head to the sky, open your heart and your chest while taking in a deep breath. Relax your shoulders. Now throw open your arms and open them wide, then wrap them around yourself from side to side. Grab your own shoulders and tuck your chin towards your chest. Give yourself a full on hug.  Then, open your arms wide and start again. Repeat your hug several times while alternating which arm is on top each time.  It is like someone new is hugging you.

Hugging yourself will help you feel loved,  relaxed and calm. It may also help you to move farther away from the inevitable feelings of fight or flight that many of us are currently experiencing. Hugging yourself is free, it’s easy to do and is something that you can do any time of the day or night.

As Violet would tell you, You are lovable and deserve to feel loved.

Until we can hug again in person, please hug yourself and pass it on.  This is a short hugging video in case it helps you follow along with me.  Self-hugging video.

Virtual hugs,


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